say "I'm back again"

hai blogers..i don't know how many times i will give the tittle "im back again"..that's the real..i will rarely to post in my blog.even i really don't have any space to share everything what i feel. my bf, which is my husband to be (note:i will get married with him in 6 months go ward) always complain everything i did.when i tweeted what i feel,what i want to express something,he always complain!when i shared everything on the public social media like tweeter,fb,bbm,he always complain.my god,i'm really bounded!in pressure!i really want to shout out!!and now,i'm really really want to be mad!and i want really say that i really hate him,he is so in big ego!hufff!!patient!that's word will be on my mind always,especially to face him!and last word!i want to say,i hate him!!!!i'm underpressure!:(( :((

extension...

oyaaa...i would like to say sorry before...maybe i will rarely to write this blog, but i try to take my time for sharing in this blog...byeee..

I'm BACK!!

haaaay blogger..since about more one year i leaved this blog, finally i'm back to try sharing everythings happened in my life..because now i feel that i have no privacy space to express and share anything. i always shared in my twitter, but..hmm..my bf always complainned about what i wrote!sometimes i feel uncomfortable, and i feel that he closed every spaces for me to share.so, now i try to begin write this blog again as a safe place for sharing everything.as you know, my fiends and of course my BF haven't known yet that i started to write this blog again.hehehe...so it will be SAFE!!!!

okeey, i'll start to tell what happened in my life shortly for more one last year..just fyi, i've had a new relationship for 9 months with my bestfriend, he's Pandu Yudhistira..i really thanksfull that Allah has given him to me. he really loves me, he cares,kind,smart, and many words to explain him. but we often in trouble, especially in a few week ago. i don't know why, i feel that he's more temprament. that's why i prefer to keep this hurt by writing notes in twitter, and then i more prefer to write in blog, *like i said before, my twitter is not safe anymore as a privacy place for me. i may not cry when i sad, i may not write anything what i feel.i'm oppressed!!!!!

sometimes i want to scream as loud as i can!!!i'm tired, but i can't go from him. he has given a lot of happiness in my life,it can't be denied!! so, i chose to stay by his side...because of my big love for him..here is my Pandu...

hmm...for your information, now i'm having a bad feeling to him..don't know why..he hurt me...:((
ok..enough for today..he chat me in YM..maybe we will repair bad communication that happened before...see yaaa...

"my immortal"

hmm...last thursday my friend gave desy (my friend who had been just left by her love) a song,that song is "my immortal" by evanessence..and when i heard it for the first time,i like it immediately..it has a deep meaning in its lyrics.this lyrics almost represent how is my feeling at this time..heheheh..so,let's check this song out!

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
I would give every breath from my chest
To give you all the things
That my mind couldn’t bear

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

I feel this song is describing the pain & loneliness of living with someone to whom you have given your heart & soul, whom you have loved & supported through their tough times but when you have needed them they have never been there for you..

note : this song i dedicate to my Dio.."you still have all of me dear..i'll always be there for you,to support you all the time with all of my love i have..":((

sagen..

ich fuehle mich ganz wohl neben dir...und jede sekunde mit dir ist wunderbar ...danke meinem lieblings bruder..liebst du mich?!wann wirst du mir 'Ich liebe dich' sagen?!hmmm....

error to be good!!!!

at the first time,i just do the mistake for my hair..i cut my hair error..hahaha..and what my friend's said??i'm like silly girl..hahaha..there's one of my friend also comment me that i'm like japanese spooky doll..it all just because of my error cut hair..rrgghh..but then, you know that my eror is not always be simplicity!!i can prove it girls..hahaha..just see these picture below..

error..

error..

be good!hahahah..

what do you thinks girl?hahaha

dress me up!

yihaaaa...my mom buy a new dress..hihihi..and fortunetly,i can use it too..hihi..

actually,this is a moeslim dress,but i think it's a multiuses dress..so i can use it in many occasion..hehehe..

today is happy sunday..because i get some new things,which are clothes..and this is one of them..the other pict of the new will be posted later..just wait..hihihiihi...