say "I'm back again"

hai blogers..i don't know how many times i will give the tittle "im back again"..that's the real..i will rarely to post in my blog.even i really don't have any space to share everything what i feel. my bf, which is my husband to be (note:i will get married with him in 6 months go ward) always complain everything i did.when i tweeted what i feel,what i want to express something,he always complain!when i shared everything on the public social media like tweeter,fb,bbm,he always complain.my god,i'm really bounded!in pressure!i really want to shout out!!and now,i'm really really want to be mad!and i want really say that i really hate him,he is so in big ego!hufff!!patient!that's word will be on my mind always,especially to face him!and last word!i want to say,i hate him!!!!i'm underpressure!:(( :((

extension...

oyaaa...i would like to say sorry before...maybe i will rarely to write this blog, but i try to take my time for sharing in this blog...byeee..

I'm BACK!!

haaaay blogger..since about more one year i leaved this blog, finally i'm back to try sharing everythings happened in my life..because now i feel that i have no privacy space to express and share anything. i always shared in my twitter, but..hmm..my bf always complainned about what i wrote!sometimes i feel uncomfortable, and i feel that he closed every spaces for me to share.so, now i try to begin write this blog again as a safe place for sharing everything.as you know, my fiends and of course my BF haven't known yet that i started to write this blog again.hehehe...so it will be SAFE!!!!

okeey, i'll start to tell what happened in my life shortly for more one last year..just fyi, i've had a new relationship for 9 months with my bestfriend, he's Pandu Yudhistira..i really thanksfull that Allah has given him to me. he really loves me, he cares,kind,smart, and many words to explain him. but we often in trouble, especially in a few week ago. i don't know why, i feel that he's more temprament. that's why i prefer to keep this hurt by writing notes in twitter, and then i more prefer to write in blog, *like i said before, my twitter is not safe anymore as a privacy place for me. i may not cry when i sad, i may not write anything what i feel.i'm oppressed!!!!!

sometimes i want to scream as loud as i can!!!i'm tired, but i can't go from him. he has given a lot of happiness in my life,it can't be denied!! so, i chose to stay by his side...because of my big love for him..here is my Pandu...

hmm...for your information, now i'm having a bad feeling to him..don't know why..he hurt me...:((
ok..enough for today..he chat me in YM..maybe we will repair bad communication that happened before...see yaaa...

"my immortal"

hmm...last thursday my friend gave desy (my friend who had been just left by her love) a song,that song is "my immortal" by evanessence..and when i heard it for the first time,i like it immediately..it has a deep meaning in its lyrics.this lyrics almost represent how is my feeling at this time..heheheh..so,let's check this song out!

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
I would give every breath from my chest
To give you all the things
That my mind couldn’t bear

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

I feel this song is describing the pain & loneliness of living with someone to whom you have given your heart & soul, whom you have loved & supported through their tough times but when you have needed them they have never been there for you..

note : this song i dedicate to my Dio.."you still have all of me dear..i'll always be there for you,to support you all the time with all of my love i have..":((

sagen..

ich fuehle mich ganz wohl neben dir...und jede sekunde mit dir ist wunderbar ...danke meinem lieblings bruder..liebst du mich?!wann wirst du mir 'Ich liebe dich' sagen?!hmmm....

error to be good!!!!

at the first time,i just do the mistake for my hair..i cut my hair error..hahaha..and what my friend's said??i'm like silly girl..hahaha..there's one of my friend also comment me that i'm like japanese spooky doll..it all just because of my error cut hair..rrgghh..but then, you know that my eror is not always be simplicity!!i can prove it girls..hahaha..just see these picture below..

error..

error..

be good!hahahah..

what do you thinks girl?hahaha

dress me up!

yihaaaa...my mom buy a new dress..hihihi..and fortunetly,i can use it too..hihi..

actually,this is a moeslim dress,but i think it's a multiuses dress..so i can use it in many occasion..hehehe..

today is happy sunday..because i get some new things,which are clothes..and this is one of them..the other pict of the new will be posted later..just wait..hihihiihi...

MY GOD!!!!

hahahahaa...i just want to lough of loud at all times when i see this pict....hahahahahahaahah...oh my God...my BROTHER is so cute..he's so beautyfull!!damn!hahahahahaah....



he is so BEAUTIFUL, isn't he???
hahahha...LOL!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

yeah..finally, my mission was complete last night..and it all was perfect..first i want to say BIG THANKSFULL to my lovely bestiest..ANNISA DIANDARI PUTRI..(amink)..i love you so much dear..my mission was not perfect without you..and then thanksfull to Allah SWT,finally you gave permission for me to make this little surprise success.and then kak ARI and kak IPANK..thanks guys..you're good informant..hihi..so,for the birthday boy..hihi..so sorry if this little surprisse party is not too perfect..i've tried hard..heheh..HAPPY BIRTHDAY kak ANDO...and thank you for all..

me and kak Ando..HAPPY BIRTHDAY kak..

Breadtalk Chocolate cake

Kak Ando with his mini birthday cake

my bestiest that has helped me to make it perfect..thanksfull dear..

Amink,me,kak Ando, kak Ari

wish..

since yesterday, i think i was being the most busy girl, but then i think i was an annoying busy girl, because i was busy to prepare something not too important..hihi..why i said that, it's just because i prepared surprisse birthday to someone don't know how meant to me...he's just friend,he is like my old brother..yeah,we're close at each other,we often chat,but why i must prepared something surprisse as perfect as i want?!hahahaha...not important at all..but i just want him happy in his blessed day..so..guys,let's pray for me,wish me luck to make the surprisse perfect like i want..amin...hhehehe..

Harvest milk chocolate flakes, Harvest mini love chocolate, Harvest Chocolate kiss.
(the gift that i will prepare)first layer..

outer layer..hihihi..

why chocolate, ,because chocolate has physiological effects on the body, which is,it can make the consumer mood good!chocolate contain endhorphins that can help to reduce stress and lead to feelings of euphoria. so, i want these chocolate can help him to get out each his stress situation, and can make his mood always happy..i wish these chocolate can be like me that can always help him to get out each his stress situation..hihihi...so,if you're in bad mood condition,always remember this chocolate..as like you remember me..hihihih..(quite a bullshit..hahah)

dreams out!!!!

i read something makes me supprised this morning..hiks..is like my prediction before..he'll never be my man..he just looks on me as his friend..not more..he can't love me more than a friend.. huwaaa..hush..!!dump the fucking dreams!!!!!!!hiks hiks..this bad morning really really make me unwell!!!!!

new..new..

huwaaaa...finally my ankle boots sandals is born..iiihhihihih...really satisfied...but, when will i use it?think suddenly..
hmm...?!anyone have idea??

hmm..where will i go by using this..?!

or this...hmm..it's quite formal..isn't it?

anyone have a good idea to help me where i should wear this lovely ankle boots sandals....?!

everyone strange

i feel like in different condition..feel like not hommy at all there..everyone strange..everyone are bad mood..what happend with today??today make my mood so bad..huff!!!

from innocent to brutally..

last nite i watched premier of VIRGIN 2 movie..at Planet Hollywood..(sorry i was late to publish this post..(26.05.2009)..it's not a porn movie,but like a triller movie..heheheh..but so far it's so awesome..

she is my bestiest..amink..

i met my idol..FITRI TROPIKA..and took some pict with her..happy...she's so kind..

and we also met RAYMON Y.T, , wow..he's so cute..hehe..
bad news,,i got worse accident..i crashed a car front of my car on the way to go home..God..i was really shock..and it makes my mental unhealt..really unwell till now..that accident left trauma in my mind..hiks..wish that God was planing to me a wonderfull plan for the future..amin...

love with my own way..

i really love him like i love her much..there's no expectation to have more relationship than now..i have enough got fun,safety, and comfort with this my own love way..

love her much

love him much also..like love her...

ps : only me that know how to love someone with own way...and its my own way to love someone beloved..never try to have more expectation of our relationship..just want to enjoy this way..LOVE YOU.....

the second meet

yipiie...i had a second meet with him..today i got to go the Djakarta Theatre..hmm..prepare a good performance..hihi..it a must...

LADIES DAY..

huwaaa..today is one of my wonderfull day that GOD has been given to me..yeah..today i get much fun with my LADIES at MOI..first destiniation is watch 3D Movies at Blitz Megaplex..but that plan is failed, beacuse on of us hasn't arrived..so, we just get lunch there,chatting and sharing and of course gossiping..hahaha..and absolutely we take some photos there..we did the crazy things...hahaha!

finally...

yeah..finally i told him that i love him..but..i said that i love him like i love my best pal...said that i love him because you can make me sad and of course you can make me happy..like my best friend (amink in case) always do..i wish that he can understand what i mean..and tonight i'm with him to give him support of his task..i accompany him by chatting in messenger..hehehe..i hope it is true..i wish that i do is the best way...amin..

good girl!

just want to say "i'm happy..trying to be a good girl to everyone..except no one.."
so..if i do something nice to "you" suddenly, you don't need to wonder...i just try to do something best to everyone..just want to be a loveable person to everyone..so never put more trust on me..even though i have feeling to you actually..but never think that i'll give a big trust on you...(today i give you more care..i ask you about breakfast, and i buy a cake for your breakfast..never put more trust on me about that)

familly saturday..

yeah..feel happy today..coz i've got a new hand made shoes which i ordered last saturday..yippiieee...it's so nice..!really like it!

good hand made shoes..hihiii..really love it!thanks scarpe

just have some relax at Taman Suropati

with my lovely mom and cousins..

and today is full of familly day.. i spent all of time in this day with my lovely family...and it's better than other....happy so..